piffle

I happened upon an old post wher someone had said I was "too" negative. Well whoopty doo...got a whole lot of stuff I have to deal with, from a son with a stage 4 CKD, to a mid fiddies spouse with a medical condition that disables him cause he leaks...

as my world turns

Today is the other halfs 56th  birthday. Did I bake him a cke, well in fct no I didnt. He is never home to enjoy it, I managed to corner him for a short bit to take me to an appt, and he dropped me back off as fast as he could.  he goes over to his...

sigh............but ok for now

yesterday.....he started in on me again during the late afternoon. Screaming how we didnt help him, he hated this town, hated being here. what he was screaming at us was we werent handing over any $...we dont have any for gods sake. I have laundry...

Anxiety issues, still there....

330 in the morning and I get screamed awake by son in the middle of a raging panic attack. (oh boy) havent seen one of those for a while and it brought back every ugly feeling there is. I knew deep down, it wasnt over, that anxiety disorder lays in...

Do you believe in gut feeling, intuition???

JJ went back to school after a 5 day suspension for defending his "mother" which taken in regards to what was said ah jabbed another kid with a pencil. What was said appearently was "you mother is nothing but a fat old slut"....well alrighty then....

Yup, I'm still here

The meeting never happened, we got stuck in Florence waiting for other  sons release, they were suppposed to release him at 1030, but it was dam near 5 when they did. I emailed the advocates, called the school, let everyone know we were not going to...

Trying, just trying

For 2 days I have been in a complete meltdown, angry, crying when I replay that meeting, which goes through my head constantly. I asked one of my kids, when they were in school, did they draw on their book, folder, extra pieces of paper. I believe its...

Meeting met

We went to that meeting this morning, and it was just as I suspected it would be. It was supposed to be (1) teacher and the Special Ed Teacher, and it was them, the psychologist, the principal, another lady that I have no idea who. thank god I had my...

Every day Chit

I finally got the other half to check out the vacuum for me, I figured the belt was shot and was going to have to get another, cept it a Dyson(got it as a throw out cuz the person that had it didnt know how to use it) now..... one of those would be...

Sunday mumbles

I finally threw a tantrum and got my desk top machine up and running. Poor thing has been sitting there plugged in, doing nothing. I found out the other half had let the neighbor use my keyboard and wireless mouse, I believe that is when I hit the...

ya well........

I havent been here in a bit of a while, been going through a boatload of BS, trying to strighten things out, but it just winds itself up again. The other twin, the one in Ks, his wife left him and went back to her  BF, the one she had the kid with,...

WTH

I thought things couldnt get any more confusing...boy was I wrong.  This last week was a total cluster f*ck of epic proportion. I am still reeling over it and to top it off, cant say anything. (they dont read this, so I am safe here) By cant saying...

Sunday

Today has been a little better. I suppose even God lets the weary rest.  The recent past here and ongoing anxiety issues have us on edge and the other half and I have become snippy with each other. He gets strung out and he goes across the street and...

Panic

This has been a long month, oh hell, they all are I guess. Son that came down here, and he IS the one with anxiety issue(turns out a whole lot more than just that) has been having meltdown after meltdown, and he gets seriously manic. Scary manic. he...

School is Out.....here

The 25th was their last day, I am glad this year is all over. They passed JJ, with 5 D's and an F. The F was in science, to which he had an A, do you think this was deliberate, going from a A to an F. I do. I have been looking at the Charter Schools...

Got through this week!

wow, that yongest son of mine is exhausting. I think he relishes "drama"   If he doesnt personally have anythiing to complain about, I think he stays up nites thinking of ways to crank some up. You would think if given a chance to start over (again)...

Update on the kid

We went to the "administrative Hearing" for JJ. I must say we went as a united front...Grampa, Daddy, me, JJ and the Advocates from the counseling place. They came on all appropriate and semi formal, letting us know that the meeting was being recorded...

AZ living

Oh heck, I am still here. That in itself isnt necessarily bad. I have just been doing the non working gramma thing in a town where being white is the mighty 5% of the pop. so yay..... I have found some difficult moments, but nothing that has cost...

Feeling good about life

I am loving it here is AZ. The town is small and welcoming and I feel like I am finally home. We have gone through all of the set up, the school, found the library, the power company and cable. The TV isnt all that important but the internet is. We...

yup

 this was one of those apps on FB..so I took it, didnt tell me anything  didnt already know, but atleast I cant say "told you so" to a few!  

yup

 this was one of those apps on FB..so I took it, didnt tell me anything  didnt already know, but atleast I cant say "told you so" to a few!  

AZ...we made it

We fianally made it, almost 1300 miles, darn near straight through. T driving the big moving truck and me driving ours, both loaded to the max. T had the dogs in the truck cab with him and I had JJ with all the house plants I refused to leave behind....

Hide..they're home

I retreat to our room simply because I don't want to be blamed for anything, by any one. When I do venture out, I sit at the little corner of the kitchen table, away from everyone else, I turn on my little pink computer and roam the world... DIL is...

Sunday musings

I seem to be getting used to going to bed before 10..Dont know that I like  that. I feel like all I do is sleep. But I know better then that. I doubt the girl has cleaned anything other than her own bedroom since we have been here..Last night I made...

Getting closer

I was reading about a couple that had "special" kids. Bout broke my heart it did....having kids only to know they are going to pass before they reach their teens. I dont know if I could do it. I would though, do it that is.  I remember when  twin 1...