I think I stink

My grandson just pointed out that I have been wearing the same clothes since bumpa went back in the hospital....that was a week ago. Why didnt I see or realize this. i dont feel any different,, like icky, but i bet I smell to every one else..Hell i dont even go out the door.

so I guess the big thing is to peel these clothes of in a bit and either throw them in the trash or wash or maybe burn them. i guess this is depression huh. thing is, outside of wanting to sleep, not wanting to see or talk to anyone. I feel ok here, or atleast I dont hurt, when I am here, all I see in my mind are smiles, kinda floating around.

T isnt going to come home, for a while anyway, he cant. all his meds are IV, they have finally realized this, he is catherized and that aint changing anytime soon, and they have him on pain mgmt morphine. THAT is something I do not want to be responsible for in any way shae or form. I am more afraid of that drug than any other in the world. Any time it has come up, its been because of death, to put someone down further... his liver is toast.....barely functioning....

I am going to bed

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